Why We Aren't Having Another Baby...Yet
I want another child. My heart yearns for another baby. My empty womb aches. I often have an overwhelming frustration with the constant battle between the logical me, and the emotional, impulsive me. When I see my friends children snuggling their new baby sister or brother, the burning desire in me to have another child is almost tangible.
My daughter is three and a half. Since she was about 9 months old, we have had family members, friends, and complete strangers, ask us when we are going to have another baby. Our answer has always been the same. "We don't know."
We have a few reasons why we are not going to have another baby yet. And as much as we love being parents and would love to expand our family, we aren't ready. And that is okay.
Our daughter is funny, wild, and sweet. We are loving every moment of being her mom and dad. I want to cherish these times. I want to build memories with my daughter and soak it all in. I want her to be the baby for as long as possible before another baby takes precedence in our lives.
The main reason, however, we are choosing to wait on expanding our family all boils down to finances. Yes, we could welcome a new addition to our family. We could make it work. We could cut our spending down in some areas to make ends meet in other areas. But we don't want too. Growing up poor, I didn't always have the comforts that my husband and I have now. As a child, I was never enrolled in dance classes or sports, because my parents simply did not have the means to fund those things. We shopped at the thrift store regularly. Going to restaurants was a treat, and we still had to share meals or had a spending limit. My husband on the other hand, grew up wealthy. He enjoyed expensive hobbies such as motocross as a child. His parents signed him up for team sports. He had steak dinners on a regular basis and never went without. So coming from my end, I want to be able to give our children everything that I was't able to have. Coming from his, he valued those opportunities he had as a child so much, that it is important to him to be able to give those experiences to our children. As it has it, our very different childhoods brought us to the same end goal when it comes to raising our family.
Right now, we both work, and because of that, we are able to send our daughter to an amazing private preschool. We are able to pay for dance lessons for her, and take her on adventures. We are able to give our daughter experiences in life that wouldn't be possible if we had another child.
By no means are my husband and I well off. If I didn't work, we would easily qualify for government assistance. The first two years of my daughters life, I didn't work and it was tough. Financially we struggled, even with the amazing support of WIC, there were times where I had to get very creative with the items we had in our pantry to make a meal. It took a lot of hard work to get out of that place. We don't want to go back there. Having another child right now, would put us back exactly where we were a few years ago.
I have no issues shopping at thrift stores or being frugal with our income. I don't think that sending my daughter to a private preschool or taking her to ballet and tap lessons every week is going to be the defining factors of who she becomes when she is older. But they could surely have an impact, and I firmly believe in investing in my child's future in every way possible. I cannot fathom telling my daughter that she cannot go to dance class anymore, or that she won't be going back to school until she is in kindergarten. She loves those things. She loves her friends and is thriving. I cannot take those things away from her, so we can add another human being to our brood.
So until we can afford to send two kids to private preschools, and enroll two kids in organized sports or extra-curricular activities, and until we can afford to go on adventures with two kids... we will be a three person family unit. Every so often, I will explain this to people, and they ask their next question "What if you don't get to that place until it's too late to have another child?"
Well... if we never get there, then we will keep on enjoying and cherishing the immense amount of love we already have.
My daughter is three and a half. Since she was about 9 months old, we have had family members, friends, and complete strangers, ask us when we are going to have another baby. Our answer has always been the same. "We don't know."
We have a few reasons why we are not going to have another baby yet. And as much as we love being parents and would love to expand our family, we aren't ready. And that is okay.
Our daughter is funny, wild, and sweet. We are loving every moment of being her mom and dad. I want to cherish these times. I want to build memories with my daughter and soak it all in. I want her to be the baby for as long as possible before another baby takes precedence in our lives.
The main reason, however, we are choosing to wait on expanding our family all boils down to finances. Yes, we could welcome a new addition to our family. We could make it work. We could cut our spending down in some areas to make ends meet in other areas. But we don't want too. Growing up poor, I didn't always have the comforts that my husband and I have now. As a child, I was never enrolled in dance classes or sports, because my parents simply did not have the means to fund those things. We shopped at the thrift store regularly. Going to restaurants was a treat, and we still had to share meals or had a spending limit. My husband on the other hand, grew up wealthy. He enjoyed expensive hobbies such as motocross as a child. His parents signed him up for team sports. He had steak dinners on a regular basis and never went without. So coming from my end, I want to be able to give our children everything that I was't able to have. Coming from his, he valued those opportunities he had as a child so much, that it is important to him to be able to give those experiences to our children. As it has it, our very different childhoods brought us to the same end goal when it comes to raising our family.
Right now, we both work, and because of that, we are able to send our daughter to an amazing private preschool. We are able to pay for dance lessons for her, and take her on adventures. We are able to give our daughter experiences in life that wouldn't be possible if we had another child.
By no means are my husband and I well off. If I didn't work, we would easily qualify for government assistance. The first two years of my daughters life, I didn't work and it was tough. Financially we struggled, even with the amazing support of WIC, there were times where I had to get very creative with the items we had in our pantry to make a meal. It took a lot of hard work to get out of that place. We don't want to go back there. Having another child right now, would put us back exactly where we were a few years ago.
I have no issues shopping at thrift stores or being frugal with our income. I don't think that sending my daughter to a private preschool or taking her to ballet and tap lessons every week is going to be the defining factors of who she becomes when she is older. But they could surely have an impact, and I firmly believe in investing in my child's future in every way possible. I cannot fathom telling my daughter that she cannot go to dance class anymore, or that she won't be going back to school until she is in kindergarten. She loves those things. She loves her friends and is thriving. I cannot take those things away from her, so we can add another human being to our brood.
So until we can afford to send two kids to private preschools, and enroll two kids in organized sports or extra-curricular activities, and until we can afford to go on adventures with two kids... we will be a three person family unit. Every so often, I will explain this to people, and they ask their next question "What if you don't get to that place until it's too late to have another child?"
Well... if we never get there, then we will keep on enjoying and cherishing the immense amount of love we already have.
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